Turns out, this particular type of ‘drive-thru’ dating is leading to a whole lot of other ‘undesirable’ real-life behaviour; 65% of folks are dating multiple people, 57 per cent are ‘ghosting’ (ceasing all contact with someone in the hopes that they ‘get the hint’, so to speak) and 34 per cent are stringing along people they aren’t interested in. I was stood up for the first time in my dating history last week with zero explanation.
Lucky for me, the bar guy was cute, so it turned out to be a win. “Dating multiple people at a time creates a negative impact on people’s self-esteem, because those they meet who have been on more dates in the same week generally have a low level of engagement, commitment and availability,” says Psychologist and e Harmony relationship expert Melanie Schilling. Hurt feelings or plummeting self-esteem (the e Harmony report cites 34 per cent feel they’re ‘not good enough’, while 24 per cent feel like they aren’t attractive enough) are the result of this onslaught of bad dating etiquette.
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To put it bluntly, we are all in dating overdrive, and those of us looking for ‘the one’ are doing what seems like a bulk-deal with the universe; “Maybe if I buy a six-pack, I’ll get a better deal, and (gasp) get it faster? The study suggests that a heap of us (59 per cent) are swiping for entertainment, for our egos (21 per cent enjoy a ‘boost’ this way) and 13 per cent of us are doing it for self-validation, opting for a band-aid when feeling insecure.
And, let’s be honest, a bunch of us are also swiping for sex (go us! But, when you look at these facts, you do wonder where 'the ones’ are located who are strategically swiping to find 'the other one’.
These people will have dates on a regular basis, and they may or may not be having sexual relations.
This period of courtship is sometimes seen as a precursor to engagement or marriage.