I see women who continually find men who, for whatever reason, never step up to treat them the way they deserve.
I realized that it had very little to do with the men, but more to do with how the women approached dating.
Your children’s safety should be your number one priority. Always set aside time alone with your kids as well as alone time with your mate. Hopefully, this is someone you can see yourself marrying. The goal is to make your children comfortable and eventually grow to love your new guy. Children can easily see this as “trying to replace their dad” and will only grow to resent your mate. I know women who have stayed in iffy relationships “for the kids.” This makes even less sense when you’re not married.
You want someone who will encourage and instill the same values in your children. Change and loss are part of life, things everyone has to deal with.
Until then, it will just be the same guy with a different name.3.
If you can work on your assertiveness and confidence, you will find a relationship with someone who respects you. A man who genuinely wants to spend time getting to know you will put in the effort.6. OK, this isn't a concrete rule, but the point is that you should not accept a date on Wednesday or Thursday for that weekend.
The Solution: Try using that age as a "review" age.
If they accuse your mate of inappropriate behavior, (even if it seems far fetched or unbelievable) it’s your job to investigate it. Spending alone time with your kids will also give you an opportunity to find out how they really feel about your mate. Make sure your mate shares the same values, morals, and beliefs as you. One of the more trying moments in a single mother’s life is splitting up with someone her kids care about.
The trajectory of lives and eternities are in the balance. Laying out guidelines for dating as followers of Jesus will alter lives by keeping people out of toxic and unhealthy relationships (and ultimately marriages). “The one” says you need to find the perfect person. The beauty of marriage is God sustains you despite your flaws. The shells of a shotgun are stuffed with tiny round balls. You are asked to go from a mentality that says “End a relationship as soon as difficulty arises,” to one that says, “Don’t end the relationship regardless of the difficulty that arises.” That’s a tough switch to flip.
This issue shapes our young people, friends, and family more than we could ever imagine. “Let’s just sit back and see what happens” might work in certain scenarios, but Christian dating isn’t one of them. I hope and pray these words spark conversations in your ministries, relationships, and homes. If you need to take a minute to let that sink in, I will be here when you get back… Here’s the deal: marriage isn’t a divine lottery where every person has one winning ticket. Hopefully one will end up as my spouse.” Not a good idea. So, the default for years is to leave as soon as a flaw arises. This requires discipline, restraint, and abstinence from activities that don’t promote holiness. A pure mind might be the greatest gift you can give your future spouse. ____________________ I hope this discussion continues. I pray parents, church leaders, friends, and family begin to spark conversations about God’s design for dating.
They were too emotionally entrenched in the experience and could not see how they were creating some of the dynamics. You will probably see a difference in how people interact with you.2.
I myself was a victim of this until I recognized my part in this process and then I began dating and eventually married a man who treats me the way I deserve. Let go of the self defeating thoughts holding you back.