Welcome to part Four in my All things teen/pre-teen boy series. If you’ve missed any, catch the introduction, and first three posts here: Intro, Preparing for Puberty, Kids and Porn, and What to Expect When Your Son Starts Puberty.But here’s a little secret: I like those first three topics because they are pretty straight forward. If your son drives, will he be driving or who is it ok to drive with and how do you work all of that out? Is your son prepared to be physically involved with a girl?If you think your son or daughter may be controlling, abusive, or violent with his or her partner, tell your child that abuse and violence are NOT acceptable and that violence will not solve problems.
Not only can the people who care about her lose out on spending time with her, but she may also be missing out on the broad range of experiences that can help her become a stronger, more intelligent young woman.
Movies, music and television can make young girls think that being in a relationship will make them “more desirable” or ‘more mature.” Seeing images of couples in movies or hearing songs about love can make a girl yearn for a romantic relationship of her own. Like many other decisions we make in adolescence (what we wear, what we look like, whom we hang out with), what others think is often an important motivator.
Young girls may have friends who are dating or interested in dating, and it can feel isolating or may make her feel unattractive if she is the only girl in her group who isn’t actively pursuing a relationship.
“If a girl doesn’t have a strong sense of self, she may seek acceptance through dating,” says therapist and researcher Dr. “This, in fact, has a negative effect on her self-esteem. it doesn’t define you.” It is important that we encourage and praise girls for waiting to date.
When a girl waits longer before starting to date, she can often have more time to get to know herself and put herself first.